Lie To Me

“Tell me the truth Frank, don’t you remember that?  We used to live by it.  And you know what’s so good about the truth?  Everyone knows what it is no matter how long they’ve lived without it.  Nobody forgets the truth Frank…they just get better at lying.”-April Wheeler, via Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates

My poker face is garbage–I can’t lie for the life of me.  Every time I try to tell someone something other than the truth, I end up stuttering, looking away, or visibly looking downright awkward.  I suppose I should appreciate this fact about myself, as I’m incredibly truthful (except when I just decide to omit the truth)…but sometimes I really do wish I could lie.

Why do I wish this upon myself?  Why do I wish I was a better liar?  Why do I want to lie?  better yet, why do any of us lie?

The fact of the matter is this: we lie to better the situations we put ourselves in.  Whether it’s lying to our friend about their appearnce to prevent them being upset with you or themselves, lying to our significant other about cheating so we don’t get dumped, or even lying to our peers about actions to make ourselves seem more appealing or desireable than we might be (because as Shakespeare said, “That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.”)–we lie to make our lives easier.

However, the consequences of lying are more often than not, greater than the complicated situations we strive to remove ourselves from.  First and foremost, almost every liar gets caught at one point or another. They (whoever they is) say that whatever is done in the dark will always come to the light, of which I am a firm believer.  But what about the inner conflict that lying causes?

Lying puts you in a very difficult position when it comes to your conscience.  When we lie about who we are, what our intentions might be, or what we have and haven’t done when it comes to our actions, we can actually begin to question who we actually are, who we would like to be, and who others perceive us to be.  Now April may have said that nobody can forget the truth, as they just become a better liar…but I think April is dead wrong.

What happens when we’re in so deep, that we actually succeed in believing our own lies?

This brings me to the conclusion that my longing to become a better liar would be quite the detrimental characteristic in my personality.  Even the smallest lie can throw us into a neverending downward spiral that is damaging to others and ourselves.

To tie this into relationships (because, after all, it’s ALL about love, right?), why throw a blanket over the truth?  One of my close friends stated (in a Facebook note of all places) that when it comes to relationships, lying creates an environment of distrust.  This is how the smallest of lies, like lying about where you are, can allow you to create bigger lies, like what you did to a person, or even worse, what your feelings may or may not be when it comes to them.  You get away with one…you think you can get away with them all–and meanwhile the guilt is weighing down on your conscience, while you are in the process of hurting someone you claim to love and care about.  It’s in these situations that we find ourselves tumbling down the rabbit hole of a relationship on its way to failure, because (and trust me, there’s no denying this) just as a house built on sand is bound to fall, a relationship surrounded by lies is doomed to fall apart.

Sadly, often times I find myself wishing that instead of being told the truth by someone I love, or by the stranger on the street–that they had just lied.  I think that the damage done to situations or self esteem or well being could have been evaded with just a few words.  Truth be told, you’ll never know what could have or would have happened had you told or been told the truth versus a lie in a miniscule or dire situation.  But my guess is that truth can almost always be more beneficial than falsehood due to desctruction it does to character.  It’s more than just getting caught, it’s about how it effects those around you, who you are as being, and who you might turn into as a result of your little white lies or big Bill Clinton lies (ha).

Lie to me!  Make me believe things are better than they are.  Save me from the oncoming conflict!

….or better yet, don’t.  I care too much about my psyche (and yours), and our relationship, to let them be damaged beyond repair.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”-Mark Twain

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