To commit or not to commit?

I go to the movies on average about 5 times a month…sometimes because I have nothing better to do.  However, this time of the year it just so happens that I’m on a bit of an Oscar mission, and it involves seeing any and every movie that might be nominated for an Oscar in the coming weeks.

I even watched The Young Victoria, a very boring account of Queen Victoria of Great Britan, and her marriage to Prince Albert.  Two hours of Emily Blunt throwing temper tantrums and being in love.  Joy.  I do have to say though, Emily Blunt is a great actress…

Anyway, the most recent Oscar film that caught my attention has been Up In The air, and ever since watching I’ve been fascinated with the topic of commitment.  Up In The Air tells the story of Ryan Bingham, a middle aged hired gun (he makes a living off of firing people) who spends the majority of his life away from his “home.”  As someone who spends 300 days plus away from any real ties in life…he finds it easier to live without attachments, responsibilities, or commitments that aren’t necessary to his every day life.  To convey his dedication to such a lifestyle, he also acts as a motivational speaker who constantly asks the question, “what’s in your backpack?”  Implying that any non-necessity links in your life will simply hold you back from what is important.

After contemplating the film for several days (I saw it like a week ago) I’m beginning to wonder…is unnecessary commitment, really necessary?

Sure we will all always have jobs, and families, and most of us will even have friends…and those all require a certain level of commitment in our lives.  But, speaking from experience, as someone who is easily detached from all things not-self-involved, Mr. Bingham may have been onto something….

Take for example romantic relationships.  Think about how many relationships you’ve had (that obviously haven’t worked out because you’re not in them anymore) and think about how much trouble could have been avoided without the unnecessary commitment of such an endeavor.  And sure every experience is a learning experience, but, did it set you back?  Did it hurt?  Did it possibly derail you being able to find the person you’re really meant to be with?

Or…what if there’s really not one person you’re meant to be with?  As statistics show (sorry if this sounds cynical…it’s more realistic than anything) only 50% of American marriages succeed, so what are we really holding out for?  A 50/50 chance of true passionate love?  Some people are willing to take that risk…while some aren’t exactly jumping at the opportunity.

When it comes to relationships and commitment, what if we are wasting our time and emotions…on things that just aren’t meant to be?  What if all this energy we put into our “romantic” commitments just ends up leaving us bruised and wounded?

How about those opportunities we get in our organizations, or side projects at our jobs, or favors asked from our friends…that eventually end up falling through?  You commit to doing something for someone who supposedly “needs” you…and then in the end, not only does it not work out, but it’s taken your time and focus from things that really are more important…yet another unnecessary commitment wasted.

Should we go all out for that guy or girl that we’re head over heels for?

Should we put time and energy into finding a spouse when there’s a good chance it will not end in rainbows and butterflies?

Should we make a promise to a friend or co-worker to carry out a task that could potentially jeopardize the things that really are necessary in life?

…Am I should-ing my pants too much?

I know what the million dollar question is….”Randol, what if it really does work out?”  And my answer is…it just has to be a chance you’re willing to take.  It’s up to each and every single one of us to decide who and what we really care about.

When Ryan Bignham asked his audiences about their big backpack burdens…he was simply trying to make a distinction between what’s important to an individual and what isn’t.  And if you’re willing to carry around the weight of something or someone you give a damn about…then I’d say it’s worth a shot.

What do you do when you think nobody is watching?

I’m a truck girl, always have been.  While most people would imagine me cruising around in a Mini Cooper or a VW Bug (I assume because I’m such a tiny person with a bit of a Euro personality), my dream vehicle is actually an Escalade EXT.  Yes, you read correctly, the small stature hippy dreams of driving a bad for the environment, over priced, enormous, AMERICAN, rapper-truck.
I’m sure it’s of no surprise to you, that Escalades run rampant all over Atlanta, and therefore I see them all the time.  However, it’s rare that I see a WOMAN driving one of these cars.  So naturally, as I was driving this afternoon and happened to see a pair of beautifully manicured nails hanging out the window of a GORGEOUS 2009 Escalade EXT, I had to pull up next to the car (being the nosy person I am) to see what type of woman was actually driving it.  Was she famous?  Was she suited up like a lawyer?  Was she rocking out to Metallica with piercings all over her body?  The questions were endless.
However, when I pulled up next to the gas guzzler, there were no more questions, only feelings of shock, and my mouth hung open.
This woman had her “beautifully manicured nails” of her right hand, jammed in her nose, picking.  She really was digging for treasure, I mean, seriously getting in there.  What disgusted me even more was not only the fact that she kept picking like nobody was around her at a very busy intersection…but that she pulled her index finger out, looked at it carefully, STUCK IT IN HER MOUTH, and then drove away when the light changed.
Just like that.  A female, in my dream car, picked her nose, ate her boogers, and probably thought no one would notice.
Now I apologize profusely for the ever so detailed account I just gave you, that probably has you making nasty faces at your computer screen, but such an experience simply got me wondering…what do people do when they think nobody is watching them?
In August of this year I moved into an apartment by myself and it’s my first time really being able to live in a space without being courteous of other peoples thoughts, actions, opinions, or needs.  This means I get the chance to walk around naked (no mental pictures please), leave clumps of hair in my shower drain, let clothes stay on the floor where they are taken off, watch whatever I want on MY television, wake up looking a H.A.M. (hot ass mess), and leave dishes in the sink for days…all because I don’t have to keep up appearances.
Furthermore, I think about my friends and past relationships.  As all of humanity knows, every girl gossips, and I’ve lost track of how many times I have heard or said, “Don’t tell *Person X* I said this but….” just to keep our names clean, while spreading the latest dirt that may or may not be true.
And what about cheating?  It’s often said that “what your partner doesn’t know can’t hurt them,” and that’s largely true.  You cheat, nobody finds out, and you go on being a happy couple, because no questions are ever asked.
Now with all that said, aren’t those bad habits?
My mother always told me that I shouldn’t do anything behind closed doors that I wouldn’t mind the public knowing.  Of course, that statement can be a bit overbearing, as there are some things people do that are meant to be private, but what if the things we do in private are rude, nasty, embarrassing, or just overall bad for us?  Maybe there are some habits and tendencies, that we just need to cease and desist.

Would you live in an unhealthy environment because nobody will ever see it?
Would you cheat on your partner if you were 100% sure they would never find out?
Would you seriously pick your nose and eat your boogers at a stoplight because you forgot your darkly tinted window was rolled down?

It’s only appropriate that we ask ourselves…what do we really do when we think nobody is watching?

Lost In Love?

“And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.”-A Midsummer Night’s Dream (by William Shakespeare)

He may have been a little 16th century, but good old William knew his stuff.  A Midsummer Night’s Dream is one of Shakespeare’s comedies that containins bizzare love triangles of characters  who are having difficulties with their relationships because of unreqiuted love, dislike of friends and family members, and even tricks by the devious Puck, an elf who inhabits a forest.   The play attempts to portray that while beautiful, love is an entity that can be foiled by many obstacles.  However, many of Shakespeare’s other plays (comedies and tragedies alike) are love stories where the characters prove that no matter what life may throw at you, love can overcome anything.  This concept brings me to the question…is it at all possible to be so in love with someone, that nothing else matters?  That any problem can be solved?  Can you really be lost in love?

It feels amazing to love, and conversely, it feels amazing to be loved…so what could go wrong?  The first obstacle I took note of was distinguishing between wants and needs in a significant other.  People can list all day long what they think makes up their “perfect mate” but too often people fail to realize that what they want might be different from what they need.  Sure we all want a “lover” who is smart, good looking, funny, caring, considerate, and trustworthy.  Guys may also add to their list things like interested in sports, someone who picks up the tab every now and then, and a woman who knows how to cook, fulfills your wildest bedroom fantasies, and is somewhat submissive (to satisfy the ego of course)–while women often prefer men who are strong willed, physically strong, stylish, and willing to take care of them.
All of that is fine and well; but do we see how these characteristics can cause produce problematic consequences?  For the men, what if your woman upstages you in your sports knowledge making you feel inadequate?  What if her submissiveness is often mistaken for a lack of self confidence and personal agenda?  What if those wild bedroom fantasies make her seem a bit “too experienced” when it comes to sex?  And women: What if your strong willed man becomes too domineering?  What if his style turns a bit too metro?  And what happens when he’s so willing to take care of you, that you lose the knowledge of how to take care of yourself?

I understand that a lot of these characteristics would have to be taken to somewhat of an extreme to manifest themselves into a contrary outcome, but we can all agree that certain traits are more dominant than others in any partner we choose to deal with.  To make the point more unisex, what happens when our positives produce negative results?
While discussing this with an ex of mine (we broke up because of certain differences), he simply summed it up by saying, “you love who you love,” and that’s true.  It’s perfectly okay to love that a person may be witty, intelligent, and attractive beyond belief…but also to be totally incapable of explaining why you love their flaws as well…because let’s admit it, we all have flaws…and they often lead to disaster.

There’s no denying that problems will occur in any relationship, often as a result of character flaws in each partner, but what do you do when these problems are a result of circumstance versus personal fault?

For example, you and your significant other are head over heels in love with each other, but your families absolutely don’t get along–much like in the story where Lysander and Hermia have a fairytale love, but Hermia’s father, Egeus, forbids them to marry pending a death threat if they choose to go against his wishes.  Now of course, in the 21st century we’ve resorted to less medieval methods of expressing our dislike for our family’s significant others…but I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit that it’s extremely difficult to get around not getting along with your partners family and friends.  Do the people in this relationship continue on in their love despite their family’s wishes?  Or do they give into their foundations  pleas and break it off because some things can’t be dealt with?  Can love get you through that?
Can love get you through an insurmountable and obvious age difference?
Can love help you cope with sickness or death?
Can love get you through a time where your family needs support, and you can’t get a job?
Can love bring you out of a deep depression because you feel too burdened to go on?  Should your partner have to be burdened with the same problems you are facing…since the two of you are a unit?
Can love get you through the deepest and darkest of problems, that come across as unmanageable?
How difficult is too difficult?

My conclusion?  There’s no “supposed to” or “should” when it comes to love.  The entity itself is unpredictable and therefore cannot have a set of instructions, or a simple “How To” rule book.  You have to evaluate for yourself what you can personally tolerate and what you can’t–and therefore it may become necessary to have to make a choice between logic and love.

On the other hand, if love is as powerful and moving as we say it is, why can’t we use that love as a driving force to make it through our personal and collective perils?  Maybe all it requires is more affection, a bit of compromise, and a copious amount of creative thinking.

I’ll leave you with a quote from the dashing and intelligent Lysander of A Midsummer Night’s Dream: “Ay me, for ought that I could ever hear by tale or history; the course of love never did run smooth.”

It goes without saying that as long as there has been true, real, head-over-heels love, there’s been situations to challenge such feelings.  It’s not supposed to be easy, but from what I can tell…it sure seems worth it.

Domino Effect (A short story)

I felt like writing a short story and someone encouraged me to write about "finding out that your significant other is not the one."  So I tried.  No it’s not completely true, but I suppose I’ve taken bits and pieces of past relationships.  Enjoy?  Maybe?  Thanks!

 “Lavender and light grey” I stated.  “Those will be our wedding colors?  Okay?”
I had a bright smile on my face, and Nick responded with equal enthusiasm, “Grey is my favorite color, you’re getting better at this wedding game.”  He was beaming.
No, we weren’t actually getting married, but Nick and I played around like this all the time—discussing our unplanned engagement, deciding our children’s names, even going back and forth with a location we could retire to—anything to verbally cement our future together.  It was fun, though odd at times.

He was running late.
“Don’t you have to get going?” I asked, being able to tell that he was clearly annoyed.  He always tapped his foot like that when he was annoyed.
That was one thing I liked about Nick, he was consistent.  When he was annoyed, he tapped.  When he was mad at me, I got ignored.  When he was in a good mood, he couldn’t stop kissing me.  When he needed new clothes, we’d only shop online.  Nick had a routine, and I liked being able to tell what was going on inside his brain.  One problem though…he rarely verbally spoke his mind.
“Yeah I’m 20 minutes late already,” he replied.
“Why didn’t you just say that then?”
“I dunno, I like the wedding game maybe?” He looked uneasy.
“Um alright,” I said, worried, “well you’re coming over after, right?”
“We’ll see,” he responded.  “I’ll call.”
“Okay…well…love you!” I always had to say that before he walked out the door.
I heard the door shut.
No “I love you” back?  Hm.  Sure Nick was always consistent in his habits, but lately something had been off.  Like he was hiding something from me.  It was this small occurrence that started a long negative chain of thoughts about Nick and me.
I hated how sometimes I would be left in the dark.
The lack of a reciprocated “I love you” made me feel like a work in progress to him—like sometimes he loved me when we were enjoying the benefits of each other, but if at any point one of my flaws surfaced (or he just began to think of one for no apparent reason), I felt inadequate.  Should the man of my dreams ever make me feel this way?
I loved his flaws—his bad jokes, the “Marilyn Monroe Mole” above his lip, his terrible driving and refusal to ask for directions, his inconsiderate nature when it came to other peoples plans and schedules, even his big mouth (figuratively of course) which couldn’t keep a secret about our relationship if it wanted to.
Not only did Nick not love me despite my flaws, but he wanted me to change.  I couldn’t go a day without a reminder of my self-consciousness, my sailor’s mouth, my flirty habits, or my slightly embarrassing dancer feet.
My flaws were further highlighted when he would talk down to me, the way a father talks to his immature teenage daughter.  I do not wish to date my daddy.
“Focus on the positive” I told myself.
Nick and I had learned so much from each other.  We changed together, we grew together.  But what if we were growing apart?  I had already noticed that as we shared new experiences as a couple, our minds started to drift in different directions.  His focus on the physical, mine on the mental.  His concentration on my indiscretions, mine on the solving of problems.  His heart stuck in a place where he can do no wrong, and mine in a place where we learn from our mistakes.
As a so-called “couple,” were we steadily growing for the worse?

My thoughts were interrupted.
“Oh girls just wanna have fun!” my phone sang.  Nick was calling.
“Hey,” I said coolly, “was your meeting cancelled?”
“Yeah,” he replied.  “Can I come back over?  I was thinking we could have a little fun before I have my dinner tonight.”
That actually did sound tempting.  But I had plans.  “Sorry.  But Brittany is on her way to come get me, I need a dress for Friday’s party.”
“I’m trying to see you and you have to go buy a tiny piece of cloth for a party that’ll probably be full of guys hitting on you?”
Silence on my end.
“Baby you know I’m just kidding,” he explained in his attempted manly tone.
Bad joke.  “Just give me a call when you’re finished with dinner,” I suggested.
He sighed.  “Okay, love you baby.”
“Bye.”

Such a conversation just made me more aware of our inevitable end as young lovers.  Knowing a person doesn’t make them your soul mate, especially when you know you can’t live with an imperfect relationship.
Jumping out was easier than diving in, and it only took a tiny push.
Too much change, two different directions, onto a new beginning.

Brilliant Quote #347

 "Let’s call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.  Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out and they’re working it out on your time and with your heart.  Some cheaters might give you an excuse, some might not have one at all, and some might even blame you.  No one can tell you exactly what to do when faced with this very complicated and painful situation.  But the bottom line is, is this what you had hoped for in a relationship?"

-Liz Tuccillo, He’s Just Not That Into You

Selfish vs. Selfless

Wooooooow, my blog.  Ha.  I haven’t seen this in a while.  But to lay it all out there right here, right now,  I’ll be needing this in the very near future.  I just moved back to Atlanta (for reasons I need not discuss) and I have my new apartment all to myself, no roommate.  At first I was worried about being alone in here all the time, but now that I’ve been alone with my thoughts for a bit, I’ve realized I’ve just got to write, and I’ve got to write a lot.
Funny story…I was helping a friend of mine earlier with some letters she was writing for future job possibilities and I realized…"wow, I really ought to be a writer with all the fantastic (and sometimes scary) thoughts going on in my head."
But who didn’t know that already?  Anyway, enough with tooting my own horn.  I just hope that SOMEONE wants to read the thoughts I’ll be posting here these next couple of months….at least the ones I’m confident enough to share with the World Wide Web (the rest just go in my diary that you won’t see until it’s an NYTimes Best Seller in 5 or 6 years).

On with the show!
Though I consider myself to be somewhat socially awkward, I am taken aback when I think about allllllll the different types of people I’ve had personal relationships with in these 22 years (because hey, it’s A LOT of people), especially my collegiate times.  I’m not just talking about the men I’ve involved myself with or the women (a select few of course) that I’ve decided to surround myself with as my close circle of friends…but also aquintances, people in clubs I’ve joined, and even people that I work with.  Somehow, almost all that people that I find myself personally attracted to…or that I attract as Randol, have been extremely selfish.
Now let me outline a few things before you go and flip your wig.
1. No, I am not talking about YOU…you who is currently reading this blog entry.  Well maybe I am.  I don’t know.  But I said that to say that this is a general trend I’ve noticed, not just a specific trait in one or two individuals.
2. I am by NO means, any type of saint here.  Though I think of myself as rather caring, I also know that I’m extremely selective with what I choose to care about.  Therefore, my perception of the needs and wants of others, is often different from what said persons might ACTUALLY need and/or want.
I’ll admit that I’m selfish.  I, at will, hurt myself and others without considering how it might effect those around me.  But I should say that I never conciously screw people over, just to put myself ahead of the curve.
3. This isn’t meant to be all negative and downtrodden.  I actually DO know, and am friends with, many many good people.  But we all have our flaws right?  P.S.-If you’re reading this, I love you!  Yay.

So with that said….I have a few questions to ask.  The first, why do I constantly find myself in shitty situations, because someone around me has decided to be selfish?  I mean really, being a selfish person myself, do I have a sign on my forehead that says, "Seeking Selfish Men and Women to Befriend?"  I’ve never been a fan of the whole "opposites attract" theory, but it makes a tiny bit of sense now that I think about it.  Of course if I’m selfish, and I have a hard time accepting my flaws, why would I want to be around someone who exhibits the same thing?  I don’t want to see my friends being self destructive or thoughtless out of some unnecessary desire to fulfill their own wishes.  But let’s flip it, why do I really hang around people like myself?  Being around these "selfish" people has made me more aware of my own selfish actions, and therefore, enabled me to better understand why the people I love and care about take the courses of action that they take.  Is that selfish in itself?  To only pick friends and relationships that make me understand myself better?  Hopefully all you who have relationships with me are learning something too.
Secondly, when is it appropriate to put the needs of those you care about, before your own needs?  When is it OKAY to be selfless?  There’s a couple reasons why this question boggles my mind.  One (1), because since I tend to be rather stubborn, I fail mentally to see why someone might need what they think they need.  Call me dogmatic I suppose, I just always end up thinking I know what’s best.  And two (2), what gives any human the right to think they deserve the better in any situation?  Growing up, my mother always told me versions of the following: "It doesn’t matter what other people think," "Get yourself together first, and then worry about others," and the best of all, "You did the right thing, you’re better off without (person x) anyway."
But what if that’s not true?  In my experience, it certainly DOES matter what other people think.  What if as a loving caring woman, I’m supposed to worry about others?  And what if, in the end, my life would have been better with person x, even though, in my ever-so-troubled mind, I think I did the right thing?  Being selfless is mighty tricky, I’ve discovered, and there’s no correct way to go about it…because no matter how it ends, someone, somewhere (be it you, or that random stranger down the street) is more often than not, getting the short straw.  Sadly (or maybe not so sadly), most of the time, it’s you.  However, if one does decide to be selfless, will they end up basking in the glory of their good deed, therefore not realizing whatever consequences they may have brought upon themselves?  Isn’t that the way isn’t supposed to be?  Think THAT one over.
Lastly, are my "selfish" people, really selfish?  Or just self-obsessed?  Not saying that one is better than the other, but some peoples actions have got to be chalked up to more than just their selfish nature.  Perhaps some people are stuck inside their own tarnished heads, that they really DO believe that they know EVERYTHING.  I used to consider myself a version of this person, but upon realizing that I know very little, decided to just put myself in the "selfish" category versus self-obsessed.  I think the funny part about this is, these people consider themselves to be "so wise" and to have experienced "so much,"  fail to be aware of the illogic of their own actions.  The people who really think that they know you, better than you know yourself.  The people who are selective about experiences and lessons learned, to create their own agendas and conclusions.  I would call it stupid, but a better word would just be "blind-sighted."  I’d like to think that these people are few and far between, but as perviously stated, I know more than I care to admit.

Typing all this out, again, makes me feel a little selfish, as it is helping me better understand my own psyche.  But maybe it’ll give you a bit of insight too, into your own selfish life  Just kidding…sort of.  Ha.

Taxi Cab Confessions

I didn’t write this, my friend Antoine did.  But it’s so fantastic, I just had to post it here.  Here you go!

I liked you.
In fact, I might of wifed you.
Like damn, I would have dyked you
And had you staying inside, like stripes do
When I leave for the summer, I would’ve skyped you
You had me feeling like diabetes, type 2
Had me weak like the third day of swine flu
Never thought you’d stoop that low, and then swine flew
I stuck my neck out, which is the easiest way to break
Because caring this much isn’t the easiest thing to fake
I feel like a vampire, expressing that my heart is at the stake
And if I kiss the sun my feelings will never graduate
So I’ll roam the underworld stealing souls to find mine
Until you stop running circles around me like serpentine
Honestly I’m not really itching to be your Valentine
But I am interested in soothing your fears, call me Sir Calamine
And given the circumstances, I’d rather take my time
Because love isn’t automatic, and I’m in four wheel drive
Moving mountains, but the bolder won’t slide
Your heart’s in a cave being tormented by the slaves
Shackled and chained, terrified that you’ll runaway
For the simple fact that they can’t let go of yesterday
Memories of how he set you free, then snatched the day
Shot out your sun, then passed away
Leave the widows near windows weeping like willows
Because this doesn’t happen much, outside of dreams on your pillow
Where a guy doesn’t pad his scratch like brillow
Who’s also worth the weight, like a kilo
But if you do not understand a word of this lingo
Just know that I think you’re the one, like a single.

-Wally.Vega

www.UrbaneCulture.blogspot

.com

Finish The Sentence

1. My ex ……Is a total sneaker, and my parents love him more than they love me.

2. Maybe I should…..stop treating myself so poorly.  Wait.  I’m a stupid whore.  That’s a dumb idea.

3. I love …..love!

4. People would say that I’m ……too scatterbrained to function.

5. I don’t understand why…..you are reading this right now, because you could be doing something productive.  Like reading the Maroon Tiger.  Go read.  Now.

6. When I wake up in the morning ….I have a strong desire to go back to sleep, and not think about all the crap I have to do.

7. I lost ….respect for you.  Sorry!  You probably suck

8. Life is full of ……too much food.  Fatties.

9. My past is …..a bit of a blur.  How did all this happen?

10. I get annoyed by …..Gluttony.  And people who won’t leave me the eff alone about whatever bothers them.  Go complain to someone else, you’re blocking the sun

11. Parties are fun, not as fun as ……going to a ballet class and dancing my heart out.

12. I wish life was not ……..this hard.  Lol.

13. Dogs……are men.  But with cuter hair and noses.

14. Cats ……make me sneeze.  Ugh.  Allergies.

15. Tomorrow is …….Um.  April 9?  I don’t know.  That’s a weird question.

16. I have a low tolerance for….dumb people

17. If I had a million dollars …….Donate about half of it to save some wildlife.  Then I’d go shopping.

So cute.

Tomfoolery (I love that word).

I know it’s April Fool’s Day and all (worst holiday ever), but I really feel like something I saw this morning just HAS to be joke.
I’ve seen some pretty ignorant party flyers during my days in the AUC, but this one definitely takes the cake.  It takes a lot to offend me, but how can any self respecting woman actually WANT to attend this party after seeing the flyer?  Look below:

Are you kidding me?  Yes yes, "Thirsty Thursdays" and "Tipsy Tuesdays" have been popular events at Spelhouse since I’ve been here…but this kind of takes it to a new level.  Wet and wild Edition?  Ladies in bikinis drink free till 12?  Why the hell would I wear a bikini to a party?
I think the part that pisses me off the most is the girl on the flyer.  Is that what I’m supposed to dress like if I go to the party?  Does my crack have to hang out too?  Sorry boo…but you’re not advertising, you just look like a slut.
For anyone who’s curious, the Facebook invite for the invite goes on to further pub it’s event with lines like, "18 TO CUM 21 TO SWALLOW!!!!!!" and "VIP ROOM WITH STRIPPER POLE, POOL TABLES AND STRIPPERS!!!!!!"  Absolutely disgusting.
Is this a Gentlemen’s Club?  Wait no, is this an ignorant strip club?

I don’t know about you, but anyone who decides to attend this down right classless party, deserves a harsh verbal lashing, and a slap across the face.

Happy April Fools

How the heck do I post articles online?

Since The Maroon Tiger Website is not working in my favor right now as far as posting my work online, I’m posting it here!  Hopefully all my Marquette and Pitt friends will find this to your liking!
Oh and guys, this is just the first article, and I chose to focus more on the country versus the work we did…however, the second article (for Mwari Magazine, printing in April) will have an angle of a necessity for community service, and how that necessity was manifested by our trip to Guatemala.  Hope you guys all enjoy!  Oh!  And feel free to check out anything else on www.themaroontiger.com, Morehouse’s Newspaper Website

Guatemala Needs You
Randol Davis
RandolDavis@gmail.com
World & Local News Editor

Upon arriving in Guatemala City, the capitol of Guatemala, and the only city in the country with a substantial airport, one can already see by the scenery that they are in Latin America.  Volcanoes, ruins, and wetlands surround Guatemala City and the neighboring city of Antigua.  Despite the exsquisite biodiversity Guatemala has to offer, the Third World Country suffers from many ailments including lacking social services, and a weak economy.
Educational systems in Guatemala are few and far between.  Out of the 12,000 children residing in the former capitol of Antigua, only 1,000 of them will receive a primary education.  Fewer than that will go on to receive a secondary education, and thus, volunteer work is critical when it comes to schooling.
The lack of social services, in large part, contributes to the crumbling educational system in Guatemala.  One will be hard pressed to find a large quantity of social workers, post offices, government medical care agencis, or even substantial libraries in the city of Antigua.  There is obviously not enough government help to support the heavy population of the city.  
The economy in Guatemala has been largely crippled by its history of civil war and unfair agreements with other countries, namely the United States.  Inequitable trade policies, as well as a misuse of goods exported to the U.S, have devauled Guatemalan currency to one of the lowest in the world.  Guatemalans use the Quetzal, which is desired to have the same value as the American Dollar.  However, it currently takes eight Quetzales to equal one U.S. Dollar.
When it comes to society and gender roles, women are always suboordinate to men.  While many familes remain comfortable in this situation, the societal gender expectations, in many cases, have proved to have a negative impact on Guatemalan citizens.  
The majority of women in Guatemala have their first child between the ages of 14 and 17, and the second child shortly after.
Also, the percentage of women who have reported domestic abuse in Guatemala is strikingly high.
However, all hope is not lost.  Many initiatives are being taken throughout the country to improve these statistics.
One example is the Womens Cooperative of Santiago Samora.  The Cooperative serves as a battered womens shelter for females who have been abused by their husbands and want a way out.  Together, the three dozen women living at the cooperative own and operate their own textile business to support themselves while also selling coffee from a nearby plantation.
On another note, Guatemala relies heavily on tourism to sustain its economy.  Its aforementioned biodiversity, as well as it’s rich history and vibrant culture, draws tourists to the country all throughout the year.  
On any given night in Antigua, one will find many tourists wandering about to various bars, clubs, and restaurants, spending lots of American and even European money.
Aside from tourism, Guatemala is rich in natural resources, and is steadily exporting it’s most notable crops–fruit and coffee.
Even though the country is doing well in it’s specialized areas, it still needs a lot of assistance.
Encountour is an organization based out of New York that specializes in providing volunteer opportunities for college students across the globe, and has based it’s work out of Antigua Guatemala. 
This past spring break, students from Spelman College, Marquette University, The University of Pittsburg, and other colleges aligned with Encountour, visited Guatemala to do service work during the 2009 Spring Break Season.
Marcus Daniels, a senior at Morehouse College was appointed as a trip leader by Encountour, but later ended up not traveling to Guatemala with his fellow students.  
Students who participated in the volunteer opportunity this year took part in house construction for needy families, and environmental awareness activities to boost the country’s ecotourism.
The visiting students were exposed to a rigorous workweek while staying in home stays with Guatemalan familes in more rural areas of the country.  The students from Spelman and Marquette in particular were housed in the century-old "pueblo" of Alotenago, a Catholic town about 20 minutes outside of Antigua.
Encountour is always looking for students to lead trips to Guatemala from their schools, and is also looking to expand their travel range to other Latin American Countries in need.
For more information about how you can help with the struggle in Guatemala, or how to become involved with Encountour, please visit www.Encountour.com

Old MacDonalds Factory Farm

“Isn’t man an amazing animal?  He kills wildlife by the millions in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed.  Then he kills domestic animals by the billions and eats them.  This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative–and fatal–health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer.  So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases.  Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals.  Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for ‘Peace on Earth.’”
-Preface from Old MacDonalds Factory Farm
by C. David Coates

Just thought I’d share that enlightening quote.
Short story coming soon.  Love.

i don’t even like riddles.

But www.thisisnottom.com is currently ruining my life!  You should go, if anything, just to see if you can do it.  I’ve passed the first four pages, and now I am on the George Washington page…let me know if you try it out

On more time here’s the link if you didn’t catch it the first time.  Enjoy!

I’ll get you started: "The quck brown fox jumped over the lazy dog"….what’s missing?

Update: 1:26AM and I got to the end…very anti-climactic lol.  One GW, two Youtube guys, and a random porcupine later…..I am going to bed.  Night

Do you like sweet potato?

She cooks you sweet potato, you don’t like aubergine
She knows to boil the kettle, when you hum bars from Grease
She senses you are lonely, but still she can’t be sure
And so she stands and waits, stands anticipating.

How can she become the psychic that she longs to be to understand you?

He brushes thoroughly
He know she likes fresh breath
He rushes to the station
He waits atop the steps
He’s brought with him a Mars Bar
She will not buy Nestle
And later he’ll perform
A love-lorn serenade, a trade

How can she become the psychic that she longs to be to understand you?

So give her information to help her fill the holes
Give an ounce of power so he does not feel controlled
Help her to acknowledge the pain that you are in
Give to him a glimpse of that beneath your skin

Now my inner dialogue is heaving with detest
I am a martyr and a victim and I need to be caressed
I hate that you negate me, I’m a ghost at beck and call
I’m falling and placating, and berating myself for staying

I’m a fool

He greets his stranger meekly, a thing that she accepts
She sees him waiting often, with chocolate on the steps
He senses she is lonely, she’s glad they finally met
They take each other’s hands walk into the sunset

Do you like sweet potato?

"Sweet Potato-Sia"
 

My Name Is Actually Randol.

I’m on my period.  Yeah.  So I’m irritable.  If irritable 20-something girls who have something to rant about bother you….then I suggest you stop reading.  Yeah.  On with the show….

Think about the word "sweetie" and think of when you use it.  Here are some of the instances I thought of:

1. Your children.  I mean, I don’t have any children, but if I did, I’m sure I would call them "sweetie" all the time.  "Aw sweetie, you got all A’s on your report card!  Congratulations!"
Note: Who the eff cares about getting A’s on your report card anyway?  Ugh.  Moving on.

2. Your dog or cat.  Can’t you just imagine?  "Awww Snuggles you’re such a good girl!  Now come here sweetie!  Come here!!! Good girl!!!"  Sometimes it makes me want to vomit the way people talk to their pets.  I often think that animals can understand what we’re saying, and sometimes they think about how stupid we are.  Haha.  Seems a bit neurotic.  Oh well.

3. Your significant other or spouse.  You know, the typical "sweetie, how was your day" or "sweetie thank you so much for dinner," and other BS like that.  Sorry if I sound bitter, but I hate relationships and I NEVER see myself getting married.  Such is my dim, dim life.  Haha.

I can safely say, that whenever anyone uses the term sweetie, they are consciously or sub-consciously treating you like a child, pet, or love interest.
Okay so with all that said, I got my hair done today (because let’s be honest, it looked a hot ass mess) and the girl who did my hair kept calling me "sweetie."
At first it didn’t bother me, but it kept happening over and over again.  "Okay come over here sweetie."  "Sweetie how do you normally wear your hair?" "Hey sweetie, could you pick that towel up for me?"

NO TRICK.  I CAN’T.

I finally asked her how old she was.  "Twenty-four," she responded.
"Oh, I’m twenty-one.  And you can call me Randol."

I may look young (because hey, I do, but it’s cool) but I don’t look THAT young and I sure as hell make an effort to act my age.  So please, for your sake and mine, do not treat me like a kid, animal, or boyfriend.  Condescending behavior is not becoming. 

Maybe you’re just trying to be nice…but really, watch your mouth

Obama’s People.

 Fantastic Photo Shoot….click here

Hot Off The Press…

Because I just looooove interviewing celebrities, here’s my most recent article:

Spike Lee Shares Views on Inauguration and Hosted MLK Day Event

Randol Davis

Associate News Editor

RandolDavis@gmail.com

 

            In a telephone interview Friday, Morehouse Alumnus and acclaimed Director, Spike Lee, talked with the Maroon Tiger to discuss his ‘Refresh The World’ Symposium at Howard University, as well as his views on the Inauguration of Barack Obama. 

            This symposium is the first event to help launch Lee’s new advertising agency titled ‘Spike DDB,’ which he says is now in conjunction with Pepsi®, as he said, “We are the African American Agency for Pepsi®.  And so together we decided we had to do something in DC on Dr. Kings birthday.” 

He went on to say, quite literally, “I knew early that everybody and they ‘mamma’ would already be in DC, because this is a big week.” 

            Lee claimed that this symposium is necessary because of our current status as a people and a country.  “We’re into a new time and space right now, and dreams are being realized…this forum is more important now than it could have been in past years.”            The event was divided into five different panel discussions, each focusing on a different topic that applied to the African American community, or the United States at large.  Subjects talked about included but were not limited to Education, the Economy, and even Hip-Hop.

“You know, we have some of the brightest minds together, and we’re going to talk about what really matters,” Lee mentioned when talking about the panelists.  The list of guests who appeared at the event was long and promising, as many big names attended.  Present at the discussions were Queen Latifah, Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, Dr. Cornel West, and Reverend Al Sharpton, as well as many others.

He also took the time to highlight two of his panelists, as a contrast for the event because of their political views.  “You know this will be interesting, because we’ve got two ladies who voted for McCain as panelists, and that’s Amy Holmes and Tyra Wall.”

The filmmaker shared his sentiments about our current political situation, when he answered a question about why he voted for Obama.  “Have you been around the past eight years?” he asked, “if so, you should be able to answer that question yourself.  George Bush was a disaster.”

Lee further went on to say that he would categorize Obama’s journey to the White House as “a miracle.”  He said, “The dreams, ambitions, and hopes of all our ancestors who were enslaved….and it happened.  My grandmother lived to be 100 years old, and she never thought it would happen.”

When asked what Spike Lee plans to do to ‘refresh’ his own life in 2009, he responded, “As we go into the holiday season, you know, one year is ending and another is beginning, I always take time to reflect on what has passed and visualize what’s going to happen in the future.  I’m looking forward to living in a world where an African American family is the First Family…One must take the liberty to think what Dr. King would think right now.  And I think he’d be very happy about the inauguration of Barack Hussein Obama as the 44^th President of the United States, but also about how Americans are moving forward.”

 

 Oh and, Happy Obama Day, and Happy Belated MLK Day!  Did anyone else notice the sun shining a bit brighter today?
Hillary is sworn in tomorrow too…this is going to be a good week.

You know you’re a dancer…

 You Know Your a Dancer When…♥
…you have fights with gymnasts about who works harder
…you sit in a straddle when on the floor….comfortably
…your body cracks loud enough to stop class but you don’t hear it.
…you dance down the hallway instead of walk
…all your friends are eating dinner while you are in class
…you go to the store before/after dance in your tights and bodysuit and walk around like they’re normal clothes, Cause they are
…when you see an empty aisle in the supermarket and instantly take it as an opportunity to practice your across the floors
…you can’t remember a time when your feet were soft and uncallused
every hard floor is like a place for practicing
…cheerleaders make you sick when the tell you how much they have to work
…CENTER STAGE was and IS the best movie EVER
…your calves look like softballs because they are so big
…You laugh at a non-dancer when they say their feet hurt
…When you can’t sit still when you hear music
…you bend over to pick up something and your leg shoots up to a 180* angle.
…Glitter is imbedded in you skin for life
…You hair has a permanent line in it from wearing it in a pony tail
…You noticed every mistake made on any dance movie or TV show
…You have ever said "200 crunches no prob"
…you are stretching for gym and everyone goes, "WHOA!!"
…You watch your old recital tapes not for enjoyment, but you critique yourself.
…"What’s your studio?" is a conversation starter
…You can whip up a ponytail in 5 seconds flat
…You get ready for dance hours early because you cant wait to get there.

Hi.  It’s been a while.  I want to write later about the difference between love and infatuation…so I think I will.  But first I have ballet class.  Later lovers.

Merry Christmas :)

 

Handwriting analysis! Thanks Dee :)

This was so accurate, it’s scary.  Good times.  Thanks Dee!!

Welcome Randol Davis, here is your handwriting analysis.
Randol uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Randol does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Randol will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Randol is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
Randol is not facing something going on in her life today. She is deceiving herself about it. Often, Randol’s opinion of herself is different than those around her. This trait gives Randol the ability to deny anything that does not agree with her "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Randol not to face some reality in her life at this time.
Randol has a desire for attention. People around Randol will notice this need. She may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on her own character.
Randol can be defiant. She sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn’t like it the way she is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which she thinks are infringing upon her freedom of action.
In reference to Randol’s mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Randol slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Randol can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Randol has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn’t understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her.
 Randol is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.

Go here to do your own!